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Wakes loves the flight
Wakes was overjoyed he got the window seat on the flight, disappointed he had to sit on the aisle seat on Ivor's bus a delighted Wakes said "Obviously I was down not to get a window seat on the bus, I'd heard Ivor had smeared the windows in butterscotch syrup but I didn't get a look in, once I knew I had the window seat on the flight I couldn't wait and made the most of it and when I'd licked the whole window I had the sun blind for afters - ha ha who's laughing now!"
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Newwy wears protection!
Following last years sabotage Newwy was taking no chances today as he turned up on the first tee with full protection, a slightly nervous Newwy said "You can't take any chances, the competition is fierce, I've heard Scott is on steroids and Handbag's had a full blood transfusion to give him an advantage" (editors note a brain transfusion may have been more appropriate) "I'm the man to beat, they know it, I hope the protection I've got will be enough but I've got more if required back in chalet - we'll see"
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Bernie and Tonto's Synchronised swimming postponed
There was upset following the golf today, Tonto and Bernie had planned to entertain all with a synchronised swimming routine that they've been practicing for weeks. But the pool had to be emptied and back washed just before their routine due to a sudo slick appearing on top of the water. A disappointed Gary Blue said, "I just got out of the pool in anticipation of the big act, crowds were gathering as the whole complex had heard how good they would be when they closed the pool, I don't know how it could have happened but someone certainly let the side down. Hopefully the pool will re open tomorrow and we'll get a chance to see their act. Luckily I just managed to get a photo before they went back to get changed"

Late Breaking news - Love is in the air!
The rumour mill is buzzing as news filters through that Bandits president elect and Kieran have got engaged - not to each other, but to their long time girl friends, despite a day of mixed fortunes on the golf course (13 points and 24 points) an unnamed source close to both of them said "their poor scores were probably due to the emotional buzz they were feeling on one of the happiest days of their lives, to have one proposal on tour is rare but two is unheard of and reminds me of Christmas bandits a few years ago when Scott and Locky both got holes in one. I've heard them talking about a joint stag do in Spain next year and I can't wait, it'll be emotional but so sweet" Both Griff and Kieran were unavailable for comment although we will expect more information soon.
A tired Bernie said "zzzzzzz"

Tonto wins shortest drive competition
The Reuters feed only had one news item from the course today, that being that Tonto won the new shortest drive event, the exact distance isn't known but below is a picture of him taking his second (yes second) shot. A bemused Tonto said "Tu coño"

Finally a plea to Youngy, Scott and Ivor...
Please don't hog the mirror in your chalet - let Handbag get a look in, he can't go out again looking like this!
Still its good to see Macca still eating when people are off to bed...

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